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Front
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Out > Humor
HOMEWORK [CONTRIBUTOR: "Coach" Wade] "Vernon, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Vernon, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?" "It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted the boy. "I had to force him, but he ate it!" TEACHERS GET PAID TOO MUCH [CONTRIBUTOR: Victoria Templin] I'm fed up with teachers and their hefty salary guides. What we need here is a little perspective. If I had my way, I'd pay these teachers myself...I'd pay them babysitting wages. That's right...instead of paying these out-rageous taxes, I'd give them $3.00 an hour out of my own pocket. And, I'm only going to pay them for five hours, not coffee breaks. That would be $15.00 a day. Each parent should pay $15.00 a day for these teachers to babysit their children. Even if they have more than one child, it's still cheaper than private daycare. Now how many children do they teach a day - maybe twenty? That's $15.00 X 20 = $300.00 a day. But remember, they only work 180 days a year! I'm not going to pay them for all those vacations. $300 X 180 = $54,000. (Just a minute, I think my calculator needs batteries.) I know you teachers will say what about those who have ten years of experience and a master's degree? Well, maybe (just to be fair) they could get the minimum wage, and instead of just babysitting, they could read the kids a story. We can round that off to about $5.00 an hour, times five hours, times twenty children. $5.00 X 5 X 20. That's $500 a day times 180 days. That's $90,000. HUH???? Wait a minute. Let's get a little perspective here. Babysitting wages are too good for those teachers. Did anyone see a salary guide around here???! My Country... [CONTRIBUTOR: S. Kasse] The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?" A little girl called out, "That's the flag of our country." "Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name of our country?" "'Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.
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